


Things We Tried To Forget

by SierraPierce



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-04 09:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4132200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SierraPierce/pseuds/SierraPierce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you win back someone who doesn't remember loving you?</p><p>Well, Kageyama is just going to have to find out on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Past Always Comes Back To Haunt You

**Author's Note:**

> Yesss KAGEHINA. I SHIP THEM SO HARD. They are honestly my OTP I can't even. So of course I'd write for them :)) This idea has been there in my mind ever since I started writing That Thing Called Fate and I was just DYING to write this story so here it is! 
> 
> Hope you all like it! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kageyama and Hinata see each other again in the most inconvenient way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a title.

If he had a choice, Kageyama wouldn't go back to Miyagi at all. There were too many....things left unresolved when he left. And personally, he'd rather they stayed that way. But of course the universe decided that it was time for Kageyama to go and sort out all the shit he left behind and that's why he was listening to the National Men's Volleyball Team publicist ramble on about some crappy "Where They Started" magazine shoot which needed all the members of the team to go back to where they started. 

Kageyama wasn't listening, preferring to tune out everyone else in the room and stare at the clouds drifting through the sky. How nice it must be to be a cloud, just drifting away to where ever the wind blew. It's been three years since he left home. Kageyama wasn't sure how much has changed or stayed the same. It was an odd thought. 

"Kageyama-san, you will be meeting with- Kageyama? Are you even listening?", a shrill voice pierced Kageyama's internal conflict.  
"Huh? Uhm, yeah, sure. What were you saying?", the raven haired man replied, causing the publicist to face palm.  
"I said, that the day you land in Miyagi, you'll meet with Hiro Shindo. He'll be overseeing your photo shoots and interviews."  
Kageyama scratched the nape of his neck, irritated. "I don't even understand why we're doing this. It's completely unnecessary and it saps the funds used for training."

The publicist just shook his head and sighed. Kageyama smirked at this weak willed man. Even though he'd mostly mellowed out, he can still be an annoying, bullheaded asshole when he wanted to.  
"As I said, Kageyama-san. The National Men's Volleyball Team has been winning many SEA games. The Japanese people are interested to know more about you. That's why you fly to Miyagi in three days for your respective photo shoot." Kageyama's eyes shot out of his head as he saw the publicist slide a plane ticket toward him. 

"What the hell? You can't just put me on a plane three days after telling me! You should have told me earlier!", Kageyama protested. This was starting to get out of hand too early.  
"Well, the arrangements have been made and the ticket has been bought. So all I can say now is have a safe flight, Kageyama-san!", the publicist said with fake cheer that really made Kageyama's eye twitch. He sighed, accepting the fact that there was absolutely nothing he could do.

He went home to pack. Three days later, he was on a plane back to Miyagi.

Oh, joy.

_______________________________________

Kageyama landed at the airport at 2:30. His appointment with Shindo-san was at around 3:15 , so he took a taxi to the cafe they were supposed to meet at. When Kageyama got to the cafe, at a table was a man dressed in a too tight suit waiting at a booth by the window, flipping through his files. He walked up to the man, taking his suitcase with him.

"Shindo-san?", Kageyama inquired.  
"Ah! There you are!" The man stood and offered a small bow, which Kageyama returned. "Please sit! You must be hungry after your flight. We're actually supposed to be joined by another young man. He'll be the one mostly overseeing your photo shoots and working with you personally. I'm just the editor."

Kageyama sat down and pulled the menu open, burrying his face in it. He didn't want anyone he knew recognizing him on his first few hours back. Besides, it's not like they'd welcome him anyway. Shindo-san was typing away at his phone, probably contacting the other guy that was supposed to be here. Kageyama rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to put more than he had to. He hoped to just receive a folder and read over the paperwork on his own. But of course that's not what happened.

The bell chimed, signaling a new customer entering, and Kageyama frowned and buried his head deeper into the menu, reading but not actually reading the food selections. There were too many people in this cafe.

"Shindo-san! Sorry I'm late!"

Kageyama's breath hitched. _That voice._ He _knew_ that voice. It can't be him. It couldn't be him. _Please_ let it not be _him._ But Kageyama knew better. Even though his head tried to trick him into thinking _of course not_ , his heart knew. Sure, the voice was a little deeper than three years ago, but it's definitely him. Kageyama took a deep breath and slowly lifted his face from the menu. 

Kageyama regretted coming home immediately. The moment he lifted his eyes, a wave of memories crashed back down upon him, a tidal wave of emotions that he had thought he'd looked up tight. But he was wrong. Oh, so wrong. The man who had just entered had blindingly bright orange hair, still sticking out in all the places that it used to be. His smile, still as bright as ever. His presence was so intense, it demanded attention. And after three years, Kageyama couldn't help but give it to him.

"Ah, Hinata-kun! Come, come! Kageyama-san, this is the man I've been talking about. He's one of our companies best rising stars. An up-and-coming professional photographer. He'll be working with you from now on." Kageyama's eyes hovered somewhere above the orange mop of hair (subconsciously, he realized that the man was still shorter than him) but he forced them to meet the other's eyes. 

Once his deep blue eyes met the warm hazel ones before him, everything came crashing down on him. Every word shared, promise made, fights had. Every touch, every kiss, every hug. _Everything._ Everything that he had spent the past three years trying to get rid of, trying to lock up, it all came back. Spilling onto the floor, staining the walls. He knew that it showed. In his hands, in his face, in his eyes. It was all there, spilling. And he was so sure that the other man could see.

But the hazel eyes were different that the rest of him. Yes, everything was the same, the same as it had been those three years ago, even more. But the eyes were different. Kageyama searched for a sign, a flash of emotion that strayed what he was feeling. Kageyama looked and looked for any sign of recognition, or sadness, even anger. But there was nothing there. For while the face wore the brightest smiles, the eyes held the darkest look.

Cold and unfeeling.

The orange haired man stretched out his hand towards Kageyama, and the next words that came out of his mouth would brand themselves ingots Kageyama's brain forever.

"Hello. I'm Hinata Shoyou. Nice to meet you, Kageyama-san."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp!*  
> Bet you didn't see that one coming ^_^  
> if you did then congrats :P


	2. Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kageyama finds out that the truth actually really hurts.

Kageyama was speechless.

Hinata Shouyou, his boyfriend of 4 years, was acting as if they had never met.

Hinata stood there with his hand stretched out, waiting for Kageyama to take it and shake. Kageyama looked at the hand, wondering when was the last time he held that hand. It seemed so weird now to take Hinata's hand, because he knew it would never feel the same. But he forced himself to shake the hand, And every moment of it felt wrong. The energy, the spark of electricity that was always there when they touched, was gone. This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not what he wanted them to become. 

Kageyama could literally not believe what was happening. But he decided not to mention anything, for fear of upsetting Hinata and wanting to leave Shindo-san out of it. "Please, both of you. Take a seat and let's get this meeting started.", the old man mentioned. Hinata moved to sit in front of Kageyama, and the latter' blue eyes followed every movement. Traced every outline, every contour of the face that he once knew so well. The slope of Hinata's nose, the softness of his cheeks, the slight parting of his lips, the color of his eyes.

Awkwardness aside, Hinata was still as irritatingly handsome as he was back then.

"So, Kageyama-san. Hinata-kun will be officially handling all your shoots and interviews and will be forwarding it to me. We have allotted about two weeks for this project, though it may take less time. Hinata-kun will brief you on what you have to do and when."  
Kageyama nodded his head absent-mindedly, attention still focused on the orange-haired man in front of him.   
"I'll take it from here, Shindo-san. You still have that meeting to get to.", Hinata's voice brought Kageyama out of his daze.  
"Ah, yes. Well, I hope to have a good product. I'll leave you too it." Shindo-san stood up, offered a bow, and left, leaving the two ex-lovers at a table by themselves.

Hinata rummaged through his bag and brought out two folders filled with paper. He slid one over to Kageyama and opened it to a certain page. He turned to look back at his own copy.  
 "So, Kageyama-san. Over the next two weeks, we'll be having four photo shoots plus interviews for each of those. We can also take some around town, places that you'd like. We can include them too. And as for the pi-"  
"Hinata." Kageyama's voice was shakey. He was not even listening to a word the other man said. All he had was one question.

"Why are you acting like you don't remember me?"

Hinata's hazel eyes stared into Kageyama's blue ones intently. A long silence fell between them, filled only by the sound of the coffee machine in the background. Hinata's eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were in a small pout. He kept clicking his pen over and over and over. Kageyama didn't understand why Hinata was feeling nervous all of a sudden. It was supposed to be him. After all, it was his fault that they weren't together anymore in the first place. After a long while, Hinata put his pen down and clasped his hands together tightly. Kageyama frowned, bracing himself for the angry and hurt words that were sure to suffocate him. But they never came. Instead, the answer that came was even more painful that any harsh word that could have been said.

"Im sorry, Kageyama-san. But I got into an accident three years ago. I have amnesia."

Those words hit Kageyama like a sack of iron weights tied to his leg, pulling him down, down, down and drowning into the deep abyss of guilt. Three years ago. The year he left. _What the hell happened?_ Kageyama found that there was actually something worse than losing a loved one in death. It was having that person right in front of you, alive and well, with them forgetting that you ever loved them at all.

Kageyama would prefer to die a thousand times over.

"Oh.", was all that came out of The raven haired man's mouth. "That's....unfortunate. May I ask what exactly happened?"  
"I actually don't remember any of it. Noya-san told me it was raining that night and the car couldn't see me when I was crossing. So I got hit."  
"Noya-san?" How come Hinata could still remember their senpai and not him?  
"Oh, he was the one that found me and brought me to the hospital. He also helped me remember some stuff. I actually kind of recognize you." Kageyama perked up at this development. He sat a little straighter, beconing Hinata to continue speaking.  
"And what do you remember?", he asked, fingers squeezing the edge of the menu so hard that it left marks in his palm.

"Not much. We.....were in volleyball club together? You were my co-captain in our third year, right? Noya-san told me about that. There's not much else I could remember, unfortunately.", Hinata smiled a small tight smile in apology. Kageyama sank back into his seat, passing a hand over his face. So, even his senpais wanted to let Hinata forget about everything that happened. He couldn't believe this was happening. He must be dreaming, his guilt must be making him hallucinate. That must be it. Because this whole thing was so _impossible._  

Hinata studied Kageyama's distraught face. "I'm really sorry, Kageyama-san. But was our relationship important?"   
Kageyama took his hand away from his face and looked at Hinata again. Every fiber of his being wanted to scream out _'Yes. yes it was important. It still is important to me. You're still so important to me. So, so important to me.'_  
But all he said was, "Not really. We were kinda rivals but became friends. That's about all there is plus what you already know." Every word burned his throat, coated it with blisters and sores. He couldn't lie to Hinata. He _hated_ lying to Hinata. He did anyway.

"Oh. Ok then. I really wish I could remember, but I'm blank. Nice to see you again, I guess.", Hinata replied, rubbing his nape and ruffling his own hair, just like he used to. Kageyama swallowed as the thump thump of his heart sped up, just like it used to. He just nodded, not trusting his voice to make even a single sound. Hinata turned his attention back to explaining the task at hand, but Kageyama just totally didn't care. He was too captivated and devastated at the same time, watching his former lover sit within his reach. So close, but still so far. 

"Kageyama-san, do you have a fever? Your ears and cheeks are all red and your eyes look droopy. Are you alright?", Hinata's voice jarred Kageyama out of his reminiscing. He lifted his hand to his face.  
"Uhm, no, no. I'm ok.", he managed to stutter out. Hinata looked at him doubtfully, but just shrugged in the end.  
"Ok. Anyway, our first photoshoot will be tomorrow, around 10am at the Karasuno gym. Do you still have your old jersey?"  
"Yeah, it's at my parents house." 

"Ok. Bring that tomorrow. That's it. You can keep that folder for your reference." Hinata put all his stuff back into his bag and stood up to leave, when Kageyama reached out and caught his wrist just as he was turning to leave.   
"Hinata", Kageyama breathed out, and it could have been his imagination, but he swore he felt Hinata tense under his touch.  
"Yes, Kageyama-san?", Hinata turned to ask. Kageyama found himself asking something that he hasn't had to ask in a long while.  
"Do you. D-do you maybe want to go grab coffee?", he half shouted. Kageyama cringed when he realized what he just said. God, he felt like a nervous high schooler all over again.

"Sorry, but I have some work to do."  
"Oh. Ok." Kageyama let go of Hinata's wrist and immediately, the other man rubbed it. Kageyama bit his lip, wondering if he had gone too far.  
"Sorry. See you tomorrow Kageyama-san." Hinata waved and left the cafe, leaving Kageyama alone to absorb everything that just happened. 

In the end, he left just as heartbroken as three years ago.

__________________________________________

Kageyama walked up to the door of the house that he grew up in. A few shuffling feet were heard form inside, a lock sliding open and he was met with a middle aged woman. Said woman's eyes grew bright when she saw who was at the door and her smile made Kageyama feel a little less shitty about his day.

"Tobio! Oh, welcome back son!", his mom pulled him into a tight hug. "We've missed you so much." Kageyama's dad walked up to the door.  
"Ahh, look at my boy! My god, you're even bigger than me now! Come here, give your old man a hug." Kageyama smiled and clapped his dad on the back.  
"Hey mom, dad. I missed you both a lot.", he replied. His dad scoffed at that.  
"Well, it's your fault you never visit you know." His mom slapped his dad on the arm playfully.   
"Honey! Don't blame him! He's a very busy man you know." Kageyama's mom turned to him again. "Come in, Tobio! You must be hungry! I made your favorite! Just the way you like it."

Kageyama's eyes brightened as he stepped into the house, the smell of pork curry filing the living room. He kissed his mom on the temple and walked with them towards the dining table. Dinner was a lovely affair, with stories shared and memories relived. As dinner was finished and Kageyama's second plate of curry was almost gone, he decided to ask his parents about who he saw today.

"So. I saw Hinata today. He's my photographer." All conversation stopped and silverware abruptly dropped back onto the plate. Kageyama's parents looked at him long and hard, as if debating what to say. After a while his mom asked, "And what did he say, Tobio?"  
"He told me about the accident. About his amnesia." He looked down at his clenched hands, missing the brief glance of sadness that his parents shared. His mom stood up and walked to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around Kageyama's shoulders and kissed his head.  
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry we didn't tell you. We just didn't know how." Kageyama reached up to caress his mother's arm.   
"It's ok mom. I understand."  
"Still, it's a horrible thing that happened. You loved him so much, Tobio." His dad let out a small laugh, calling the attention of the mother and son.  
"He did. It was almost sort of nauseating the way they looked  at each other. Made me jealous sometimes."

Kageyama just laughed, mostly for his parents' benefit though. He didn't need them feeling guilty about this whole mess. It was really his fault anyway. Although,  his parents were wrong when they said he loved Hinata. 

He still loves Hinata. So, so much.

Kageyama removed himself from his mom's arms and brought his plate to the sink. He walked back to kiss his parents goodnight.  
"I'm quite tired from today. It was kinda crazy. I have to be up early tomorrow, so I'm gonna go ahead and sleep."  
"Good night, dear."

 

 

Kageyama's room was the same as before, just lacking the clothes strewn across the floor. He dumped his suitcase beside his closet and placed his clothes in their right drawers. Today was surprisingly tiring and emotionally draining, so he decided to take a shower to clean away the day's misgivings. After all, surprise meetings with your amnesiac ex-boyfriend wasn't exactly Kageyama's cup of tea. He got out of the shower and trudged to him bed, flopping down messily.

He lay there, just breathing in and breathing out, still trying to calm his heart down. He lifted his arm off of his eyes to turn of the side table lamp when he saw a picture framed on his table. He sat up to study it closer. It was one of Hinata that he took. He took countless photos of Hinata back then.

This one was from the December of their second year. On his birthday, now that he thought about it. Hinata was standing at the empty part of the park they used to always go to. The sun made an exception that day and gave a beautiful sunset that painted the sky with dashes of orange and bursts of pink. Hinata was facing the sunset, head slightly turned towards Kageyama. Hinata's smile was soft and his eyes full of warm affection for his boyfriend. The light cast something like a halo around Hinata's body, as if he were the sun itself, coming down from the sky on a cold winter day to illuminate Kageyama's dark, lonely soul. That day was the first time they said I love you to each other.

_Happy birthday, Kageyama! I love you lots, ok?_  
_Hinata!! What the hell? Don't say things like that so casually!_  
_Ehh? Kageyama, don't you love me too?_  
_Hmp. Of course I love you too, dumbass. I always will._  
_Hehehe, you're so cute when you blush! But I'll always love you too. No matter what._

Kageyama clutched the picture frame, as though it was the only string of thread left connecting him and Hinata. His eyes stung with tears of regret and guilt and sorrow. He kept his promise. He still loves Hinata, even after all these years. Hinata promised too. _'No matter what'_ , he said. Kageyama smiled a sad, broken smile. He reached over and closed his lamp and settled into bed. He slept on his side, clutching the picture to his chest.

 

He closed his eyes and cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, Kageyama and Hinata were in a relationship from their second year. So that's 2 years of high school plus 2 years of college so that's 4years of being boyfriends. Then the 3 years that Kageyama left.
> 
> Soo I hope you guys like that chapter!!  
> I enjoyed writing Kageyama in pain :)
> 
> Tell me what you think! Comments are always appreciated"


	3. On The Court Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama thinks that photoshoots shouldn't be this emotionally stressful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so tired.  
> Well here's an update an a half. This took way too long and I'm sorry hehe.  
> I hope you like it!!

_You know, Kageyama. Your like the moon and stars in the night sky. I stare up and wonder how in the world I deserve to look at someone so amazing. You're my moon and stars, Tobio._   
_If I'm your moon, then your my sun. My whole world revolves around you, Shouyou._   
_I love you so so much, Tobio._   
_I love you too._

Kageyama woke up with a stuffed nose and puffy eyes. The part of the pillow where he was laying down was still wet with tears. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. _Not that dream again. I thought I was over that._  
He got up and unplugged his phone which was charging. It was just 8:30, he had some time before the photoshoot. He unlocked his phone and scrolled through his new texts. Nothing much, just a few from his teammates asking how their photo shoots were doing. A new text alert sounded. Kageyama scrolled back up and stared at the new message. As in _stared._

Because it's been such a long time since he's gotten a text from that number. He hasn't even bothered changing the name back. 

From: Shouyou <3  
 _Good Morning, Kageyama-san. I realized that I forgot to ask you for your number yesterday, so I asked Noya-san for it since I don't have it in my phone. Please don't forget to bring your jersey._

Kageyama fell on his butt, rereading the message to clarify what he was thinking. Hinata deleted his number. If he's still using the same phone, he should still have his number. But Hinata deleted it. Hinata never deletes anything. He also never forgets to put emojis on his texts. Especially when it was Kageyama. Each text would be filled with weird faces and hearts. But, not anymore.

Kageyama's fingers hovered over the keypad, wondering what to text back. He ended up settling for something formal.

To: Shouyou <3  
 _Yes of course. I didn't have yours either. Thank you for reminding me. See you soon._

Kageyama stared at his sent text. _I didnt have yours either._ Huh. What an incredulous lie. He pulled himself up and dragged his feet to the shower. Today was going to be a long and unbearable day.

(He changed Shouyou <3 back to Hinata.)

 

Kageyama got ready and prepared to leave. He had his foot out the door when he realized he almost forgot his jersey. He went back to his closet and fished around for the old shirt. He found it under all his old Karasuno uniforms, folded as properly as ever. He got it and held it to his chest. A picture floated down from it, and Kageyama bent to pick it up. It was an old picture, one taken in their first year at the Spring Tournament. They had just beaten Aoba Johsai and all of their hard work payed off. Kageyama smiled at the memory. He put the picture in his bag along with the jersey and left the house.

 

Being a college student as well as a professional athlete, Kageyama has learned that he cannot function without coffee. So as he walked to the bus station, he first stopped by a Starbucks to grab a drink. A grande iced Americano with vanilla extract was his usual order so he waited in line to place his order. When it was his turn, his phone buzzed and he took it out.

From: Hinata  
 _I'm here at the gym. I'm a bit early though, so take your time._

Kageyama sent back a text and looked up at the cashier to confirm his order. He looked up at the menu board that was hanging above the coffee machines when he thought _I should get Hinata a drink._ he still remembered his favorite anyway after all the times Kageyama has to bring some home during their test cramming sessions. A grande vanilla speculoos frappucino with caramel sauce. Hinata can't stand the bitter taste of coffee so he always goes for such sweet things. Kageyama wasn't much of a sweets fan, but he learned not to question Hinata's cravings.

After a while, he got his drinks and proceeded to walk to the station to catch the next bus. When he got to the school grounds, he walked the familiar path leading to the gym. Memories of his little races with Hinata made Kageyama's heart ache. To an observer, they just have seemed like a couple of overly competitive friends/rivals. But somehow, it was more. It was for Kageyama anyway.   
It was an assurance. That no matter how many times they'd win or loose, they'd still be together.

The thought was still on his mind as he stepped into the gym. A wave of nostalgia and good memories washed over him like a tide. If he were being completely honest, Kageyama had both bitter and sweet memories engraved into the wooden walls and floor of this gym. This was the first place where he ever truly felt at home, in the nets of the crows that nurtured him and taught him how to fly. A light squeaking of sneakers signaled Kageyama to his company. He walked over to the stage where Hinata was still setting up the booth for the display of the pictures. Kageyama walked up to him and tapped his shoulder ever so lightly.

Hinata turned around and met Kageyama with a stoic face. Kageyama frowned. Hinata should never be wearing a face like that.   
"Oh, Kageyama-san. You're here.", Hinata chirped. The honorific still stung Kageyama like a knife that is being stuck and pulled out of Kageyama's heart over and over again. But he swallowed down the hurt and put on his normal indifferent face even though all he wanted to do was grab Hinata by his shoulders and hug him and hold him like there's no tomorrow.  
"You've got quite the set up." Around the gym were two big, bright spotlight things. The booth where the pictures showed when Hinata took them was a little bit further. The whole set up was really impressive. "Looks like you're taking your photography really seriously."  
Hinata smiled a little. "Yeah. I've always liked photography. Even when I was a kid, so it made sense to make it my profession."  
It was true. Hinata always had a knack for photography. Kageyama was just sad that he couldn't remember that the real thing he was passionate about was volleyball.

"By the way, Hinata. I got you a drink." Kageyama passed the sugary drink over to his photographer, whose hazel eyes were sparkling with excitement. Kageyama almost smiled. At least he was able to do something right today.  
"Thanks, Kageyama-san!" Hinata took a sip and beamed at Kageyama, making the blue eyed man's heart do somersaults. "This is my favorite flavor! How did you know?"  
Kageyama pinched the hem of his shirt. "Well, we used to always grab coffee together." Which wasn't exactly a lie but not exactly the truth since Hinata didn't know why they always got coffee.  
"Ehh? It seems like we were close then, Kageyama-san, or else you wouldn't have memorized my favorite! But you said we were just friends." Hinata lifted an eyebrow suspiciously. _Ah shit._ Kageyama cursed.  
"Uhmm..well. We, uh, used to always study together. You know, having cram sessions with Tsukishima and Yachi. So we got a lot of coffee. Yeah...that's why..", Kageyama felt the sweat rolling down his back. That was an actual excuse. 

"Oh. Ok then. So anyway, come over here. I'll show you our agenda for today." Hinata turned and walked away briskly, as if he couldn't get away form Kageyama fast enough. Kageyama scowled and internally face palmed. Did he do something _again._ god what was wrong with him? He really felt as though he's a high schooler all over again, reliving the awkwardness that was never there.  
"So we're going to do a few shots today. First a service, then while setting. Then just do what you usually do and I'll try and make some good shots, ok?"  
"Yeah, I guess." Kageyama wondered if his playing volleyball would help Hinata remember anything, especially since they spent so much time in this gym. "Uh, do you want me to change or something?"  
"Yeah, yeah. That would be better. Why do you think I asked you to bring it if you weren't going to use it?" Hinata said. It almost sounded like a tease. Kageyama frowned with an annoyance. This felt all to familiar, yet too strange at the same time.

He went to the changing room and took out his old Karasuno jersey. As he put it on, he saw the picture from earlier and he had an idea. He grabbed it from his bag and head out. He walked over to Hinata who was adjusting the settings of his camera.  
"Hey Hinata. Do you remember when this was taken?" Kageyama handed the picture over. Hinata stared long and hard at the photo. Kageyama had his arm slung around Hinata's shoulders and Hinata's arm was around Kageyama's waist. They were both sweaty but wearing extremely bright smiles. They had just defeated Aoba Johsai in their first year at the Spring Tournament. It was the first time Kageyama actually smiled and didn't look scary. Hinata had said that he looked really good and he remembered wanting to touch Hinata's face for the nth time.

Hinata was still staring at the picture and as Kageyama studied the orange haired man for any sign of recognition. He thought he saw a flash of emotion pass through those amber eyes, but when Hinata looked up, all he was met with was an apologetic smile.  
"I'm sorry Kageyama-san. I tried really hard to remember but it didn't work. We looked really happy together though. When was that?"  
"The spring tournament of our first year. We just beat Aoba Johsai. You were really happy." Kageyama cast his eyes down back onto the picture. _We looked really happy together though._ We were. We were. I wish we still could be.

"Anyway, Kageyama-san. So if you could, let's get started. Well start with the serves." Hinata made some final adjustments to his camera and positioned himself behind the service line. So Kageyama put the picture back in his bag and went together this photoshoot over with. He started off with one of his powerful jump serves. It was really hard to focus on what he was doing with Hinata following every single move with a camera. He was so used giving attention to Hinata on the court. Especially this court.

Once he got a rhythm going on, he felt much more relaxed despite the flashing lights and the constant presence of Hinata. He shifted to a little tossing and went about with his drills. It was somehow like individual practice, so once he got into it, it took too much to get him out. He was so focused that after he let loose a serve, he put a hand on his hip and started to wipe the sweat off his face when he heard the camera shutter go off. His head whipped to Hinata who somehow ended up right beside him. Hinata was staring at the picture he just took through the camera screen. A small frown formed on the other man's face and Kageyama immediately felt conscious. Did he look bad? Or worse, did he try to smile and it came out looking like a murderer?

"Oi, Hinata. What are you staring at?" Kageyama winced at the way that sounded. But Hinata didn't so much as twitch. He just turned around and said, "You look really good, Kageyama-san." And then he walked away, head still bowed to the camera.  
Kageyama felt his cheeks get warm, and it had nothing to do with the practice he just had. He scratched his head and slowly made his way to the stage. Hinata was shuffling through a bag and pulled out a notebook.

"Ah. Kageyama-San. It's already lunch time, so why don't you take a break." He went back to shuffling through his notes. Kageyama wrinkled his nose in annoyance. How was it possible that even though he's been forgotten, Hinata can still rile him up like nobody else. He hated being ignored and Hinata was doing exactly that. So he tapped the orange haired man On the shoulder.

"You should eat too. You've been doing most of the work anyway." Hinata sighed and put down the camera. He picked up his bento and made his way to the stage. The two guys sat beside each other, eating their respective lunches in silence. Neither one knew what type of conversation to make, because most things have ended up forgotten. Kageyama was about to make some pathetically sad comment about the weather when they heard the gym doors sliding open. The former teammates turned their heads to the two people at the door who were no other than their former coach and club adviser.

"I heard in the faculty that some big shot celebrity alumni was going to have a photo shoot at the gym today. I should have known it was you two." Coach Ukai beamed at the two. Takeda-sensei was also smiling, standing with a big paper bag.   
"Coach Ukai! Takeda-sensei! It's good to see you again." Kageyama stood up and gave a low bow, which Takeda-sense I turned into a hug.   
"Ah, I've missed you! The club just isn't the same without you trouble makers here anymore.", Takeda-sensei said.   
"And I think about this place everyday.", Kageyama replied.

"How's your head Hinata?", Coach asked.   
"It's doing fine. I don't remember a lot of things but I'm doing good." Hinata smiled back.   
"That's good. As long as your getting better.", Sensei smiled. "That reminds me. Here are some pork buns from the store. It's been a long time since you've had one, I'm assuming."  
Kageyama and Hinata took the bag, graciously thanking the two and proceeded to eat all its contents.  
   
The four talked for a while, Kageyama and Hinata explaining why exactly they were there. After a while, Hinata excused himself to visit the restroom. Coach Ukai clapped Kageyama on the shoulder.  
"It's nice to see you and Hinata have made up." Kageyama studied his hands. "He doesn't even remember me, Coach. I still can't believe it. "  
"Have you told him about the two of you?"  
"I haven't, Sensei. How could I? Especially after all I've done." Kageyama leaned back on his chair and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.   
"There's always a chance to do better, Kageyama. You know that better than anyone." His former coach said."This isn't volleyball, Coach. I don't know if he'd ever forgive me for leaving him. I haven't even forgiven me for leaving him" Kageyama pressed his palms together to stop them from shaking. A gentle hand settled on his shoulder. He looked up to find Takeda-Sensei smiling gently at him.  
"If you loved Hinata, you'd tell him the truth. And if he loved you, he'd forgive you."

_If only it was that simple.  
But it's not._

____________________________________________

 

"We have all the pictures we need. So let's get onto the interview. Sit here, Kageyama-san.", Hinata patted the chair in front of him and Kageyama took a seat. Hinata took out his phone and set it on the table beside him to record what was going to be said.   
"First question. Why did you come to Karasuno, when most of your teammates from Kitagawa Daiichi moved to Aoba Johsai?" Kageyama cleared his throat. This was an easy one.  
"Well, it was because I heard that Coach Ukai was coming out of retirement. But once I got to school, I learned that he was hospitalized. So I was kind of disappointed, but I think it was one of the best things that happened to me because I got to have so many great experiences and meet a lot of great volleyball players."

"What was your first impression of the Karasuno Volleyball team?"  
"Oh, they were a lively bunch." Kageyama's lip twitched up as he remembered. "My senpais were really kind and they treated me like a real member of the team. Although some were really wild, too. Then there were these two guys in the same year as me. God one of them was so obnoxious. I hated him. Like seriously. But in our third year, we learned how to rely on each other ang become good friends." Kageyama was a little reluctant to say the next thing he had on mind, but decided to go for it anyway. 

"And there was this guy who was in my year too. I met him during a tournament in my last year of middle school. He was literally the worst volleyball player I've ever met. He vowed to be my rival but then we ended up being teammates. Which was a really big mess that we almost weren't allowed to join the club at first. But then over time, we became the strangest of friends and I still consider him one of my good friends. I learned how to appreciate his natural talent. Even now I'll remember his as one of the best volleyball players I've ever met."  
"Do you still keep in touch with your old team mates?" Hinata looked up from his notebook and Kageyama felt guilty guilty _guilty._  
"Not as much as I should. But some of them I've played practice matches against so we see each other a few times." He managed to choke out. Hinata looked at Kageyama for a second longer before going back to his questions.

"Ok. Next, uhm. What was the most memorable experience on the team?"  
"Oh. There are just too many. But if I were to choose, it would be the feeling of being on a real team. Back in middle school, I was The King of The Court. My skills surpassed that even of my senpais, but everyone hated me. I never really felt like a valued member of the team. But when I got to Karasuno, everything changed. I changed so much.  I mean, yes it was hard, but I actually started _trying_ to gain the trust of my teammates. And when I did, it was the best feeling ever. It was as if I've finally found my family. It was the best feeling I've ever felt. It still is and nothing will compare to that." Kageyama found that everything he was saying was so true that it squeezed his chest. He looked up from his clasped hands to find Hinata smiling at him. Like the first genuine smile that he's seen since he got back. And it shook his soul down to the very core.

"I'm glad. That somehow you still carry that part of your life with you everyday." Hinata's gentle voice shocked the blue eyed man. For a split second, he entertained the possibility that Hinata actually _remembered_ something. Kageyama internally pinched himself, told himself not to have such high hopes.

"Anyway, last question. What was your favorite part of club back then." Kageyama thought for a moment, when he realized that the answer was literally sitting right in front of him.  
"Remember the guy I was talking about earlier? Well, when he started out p, he just really sucked. Like it was so bad that he would receive balls to his face. But then during this one match, I decided to toss to him. And he got it. No one was ever fast enough or jumped high enough to match my tosses. But he did. That's when we started really practicing and perfecting our 'Set and Spike' move. People used to call us the Oddball Duo because of my crazy toss and his crazy fast reflexes. Every time our spike worked, I'd feel this massive surge of happiness and pride, because everything we worked so hard for payed off. The best part of it was that this guy jumped trusting me one hundred percent. No one ever trusted me that much. And I learned to trust him too. That was my favorite part of being on the team." 

Hinata just nodded and wrote down a few notes. Kageyama found it so hard to believe that he didn't realize that it was him he was talking about. It was him who he trusted. It was him who made volleyball even better that it was before. It was so ridiculous that he found himself asking, "Do you know who that guy is?"  
Hinata lifted his head, eyes ablaze with an emotion Kageyama couldn't recognize. "Who?"  
"It's you." Kageyama said simply. Hinata stared long and hard at Kageyama, as if he was debating whether this was just a joke or not. When he realized that it wasn't, a slight red flush dusted his cheeks.  
"I didn't realize I was that good." He mumbled. Kageyama almost laughed.  
"Why would you have been our captain if you weren't? You remember that, don't you?"  
"Yeah. I guess. I didn't realize that we were so close then." Hinata raised the question in his eyes. Kageyama squeezed his hands together and thought whether he should answer it. He didn't. 

"Well, that's it for today, Kageyama-san. The next one is on Thursday so you have tomorrow off. Surely you would want to explore your old town again?" Hinata stood up and started to pack up and Kageyama offered to help him. They spent the next hour putting all the equipment back to where it was supposed to be. Hinata was strangely quiet during that time, and Kageyama wondered again if it was because of something he said. 

Eventually, they got everything packed up. Hinata turned around to say goodbye to Kageyama when Kageyama beat him to it. "Would it be ok if we tried something?" Kageyama clutched the volleyball in his hand. Hinata raised an eyebrow suspiciously.   
"Depends on what it is."  
"Spike for me." Kageyama needed to know that Hinata at least remembered how they played volleyball together. _At least that._  
Hinata eyed the ball in Kageyama's hands reluctantly. The latter was prepared to be turned down when Hinata put down his bag and rolled up his sleeves. He walked over to the service line, back facing Kageyama. 

"Just once.", was all he said. But to Kageyama, it meant the world.   
"That's all I'm asking for." _Just one chance to make you remember who I am._  

Kageyama stood near the net. He spiked the ball  towards Hinata, who gave a solid receive. Kageyama smiled. Hinata's receives have come such a long way. The ball was up in the air and Kageyama could already see Hinata moving. He jumped up, arms outstretched, ready to bring the ball to his spiker. He moment the ball touched his hand, Hinata was already in the air, arms positioned like the wings of a crow in flight and eyes closed. Exactly how that used to do it before. Kageyama tossed the ball into Hinata's hand with pinpoint accuracy and it landed with a resounding thud on the other side of the court. 

Kageyama looked at the ball bouncing on the other side of the net, and he laughed. He never forgot how playing with Hinata felt, but right now, it felt so much better. Nothing in the world could compare to this feeling. He looked over to Hinata who was still looking at his hand. Kageyama took a step closer and Hinata lifted his head, a sad smile on his face.  
"I wish I could remember that. Because it felt so right."  
"I wish you could too." Kageyama tried to keep a calm facade, but inside, he was racked with pain. The one think that brought them together, and Hinata couldn't remember it. He needed to get out of this gym before he broke down again.

"Anyway, let's go. The club activities start soon. We better leave before outer kouhais get here." Without another word, Kageyama picked up his bag, and he and Hinata walked away from the place where it all began.

____________________________________________

 

Kageyama and Hinata walked towards the intersection where they usually parted for school. Hinata was also staying over back at his old house for the next couple of weeks, until the project was over. The walk back was relatively silent, filled with small talk and half-hearted questions that didn't really matter. It was such a contrast to the things they did walking along this very path.

Hands were held, kisses were stolen, fights were lost. For three years, their relationship was spelled out on this very road. But no one could read it. Kageyama looked at his watch It wasn't that late, it was still early enough for dinner. when they got to the intersection, Kageyama stopped, causing Hinata to look back since he was carrying some of his stuff.  
"Hey Hinata."  
"Yes, Kageyama-san?"  
"It's not that late yet. I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat?"  
"Uhm. Sorry Kageyama-san. I have to finish editing the photos and interview. Maybe next time." Hinata gave a curt bow and walked away, without waiting for Kageyama's reply. The raven haired man stared at the receding back of the one person he thought knew him the best. He made himself a promise.

No matter what, he would win Hinata back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ukai and Takeda didn't judge Kageyama that much. The same might not be said of his teammates.   
> Please comment and tell me how it is and if I made any errors :)


	4. The Reasons Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata had reasons for what he did. The question was were those reasons good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I've been sick for a while and it kinda sucks  
> Anyway here! Have an update :)

Hinata woke up to the ringing of his phone. He rolled over on his bed and reached for the bedside table. He swiped on the screen and brought the device to his ear.  
"Hello?", he croaked out with a yawn.  
_"Where are you?"_ , an overly enthusiastic voice asked.  
"Noya-San?", Hinata rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked out his window. It was raining.   
_"Well, who else's would it be Shouyou?"_ , Noya's voice came through. Hinata winced apologetically. He just left the house without telling Noya where he would be going. He only said he'd be away for work. It was unfair on Noya's part because he was closest to Hinata, especially after the accident. 

"Sorry, Noya-San. Uhm, I'm in Miyagi.", he managed to say.  
_"Why are you there?"_ , Noya's voice was overflowing with suspicion. Hinata leaned back against his headboard. He didn't want Noya to get mad at him for what he's done.  
"I told you. I'm here on a job."  
_"Really. Is that all?"_  
"Yeah.", was all Hinata said.  
A long silence followed, filled only with the static from the phones. Then, a long sigh was heard, crackling the audio.  
_"Shouyou"_. Noya's voice was worried and tired. Hinata flinched guiltily. He could never lie to Noya.  No matter how hard he tried.  
"I'm on a job with Kageyama.", he eventually said. Silence followed again. This time, it was weighed down with disbelief.  
_"And did he ask?"_ , Noya's voice had a certain edge to it.  
"Yes." Hinata's voice came out smaller than expected.  
_"And what did you say?"_  
"I said that I have amnesia." 

Hinata noticed that Noya's been having really long pauses on this phone call. Usually he's so hyperactive and talks over Hinata a lot. The truth is Noya is very worried. He's scared that he might say the wrong thing, especially since Hinata is still so touchy over this subject.  
_"I thought you said that you didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore?"_  
"I know that I said that. That hasn't changed. I still don't want anything to do with him."  
_"Then why are you there? Why did you take the job?"_ , Noya asked exasperatedly. He loved Hinata, he really did. But sometimes he couldn't even begin to fathom what the orange haired man was thinking.  
Hinata looked outside his window. Rain was pouring, dotting the glass of his white windowpane. He closed his eyes, feeling the prick of emotion that was so close to spilling out of him, and let out a deep sigh. He hated talking about this, but he supposed that this time he should. So he could also remind himself why the hell did he come back to this town.

"You know, Noya-San? The three years he left me alone were so painful. Even more painful than what I felt when I was told that I could never play volleyball on the international court with him. When he left, it hurt _so much more._ It felt like being stabbed over and over again. Going to bed and waking up, thinking at first that everything was fine, then realizing that he's gone and it crashed down on me all over again. I was suffocating. It felt like every breath I took was _burning me alive._ " Hinata's voice broke, tired of trying to control the anguish he was feeling. Anguish that boiled inside of him for three years.

"I looked and looked for him, but he wasn't there. He wasn't there for me. I asked the school, they said he'd already left the country. And like the love stuck idiot I was I ran after him. But he was too far, to far for me to reach. And then all of a sudden, he pops up again. And the moment I saw his face, I felt all the hurt and anger rush back full force." He let out a short bitter laugh. "I was angry that he left. So angry that he broke his promises. _'As long as I'm here, you're invincible.'_ Well, fuck him. I had to learn how to be invincible on my own." The tears were coming hot and fast now, but Hinata didn't notice. He didn't notice because he spent the last three years crying, surprised that he actually still had any tears left to cry. 

"When I saw his file, I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to hurt _so much._ Even more than when he hurt me. I want him to feel how it felt to wake up everyday and have your soul be ripped apart over and over. I want him to know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying for comfort and realizing that there is no one left to offer it. I want him to feel the pain of having someone you love right in front of you, within your grasp, but never being able to have them again. Because that's what he did to me, Noya. He left me for _dead._ " Hinata's right hand was squeezing his thigh so tightly that his nails dug into the flesh, leaving crescent moons blossoming with blood. But Hinata doesn't care. His skin is alight with anger and his face is streaked with tears and his heart is caged behind adamantium locks that he will never let anyone touch, never again. 

Noya's heart dropped when he heard how utterly and tragically _broken_ his friend still is. Neither of them said that aloud, but they knew. Everyone knew. When Kageyama Tobio left, Hinata Shouyou was never the same. All Noya could do was sigh, and protect his friend the best he could.  
_"I know you do. Trust me, I know. I just want to know if you're going to be ok. If you can handle it."_ A small smile made its way onto Hinata's lips.  
"I can handle it, Noya-San. I've seen him for two days now. I'll be ok."  
_"Ok. I believe you. Just call me if it gets bad, and I'll be there._ Noya promised.  
"Thanks, Noya-San. See you soon."

Hinata put down his phone, and watched as the rain fell from the sky. He thought back to the first time he saw Kageyama again at the cafe. He did his best and put in his most neutral face. Hinata saw that Kageyama remembered. He saw it flash in those deep blue eyes he once loved staring into on cold, nights. Kageyama remembered yet he denied all. And it hurt like hell. 

_"I'm really sorry, Kageyama-san. But was our relationship important?"  
 "Not really. We were kinda rivals but became friends. That's about all there is plus what you already know."_

Hinata shook his head. He really didn't know what to expect when he saw Kageyama again. All he knew was he never thought Kageyama cared so little about him that he would rather deny their history if he had a chance. Maybe that's why it was so easy for him to leave. So easy to drop the baggage that he had been carrying ever since high school. Hinata let out a small, humorless laugh.  
  _I really am an idiot._ He looked outside his window and saw how the rain settled in the leave of the trees, rolling down and cleaning the air. Hinata wished the rain would coat him down to his bones and purge him of his memories.

Hinata Shouyou wished that he could just _forget._

______________________________________________

When Hinata got into town, the air was cold and struck by the summer rain, so he decided to stop by a small coffee shop a few stores away from the photo shop he was on his way to. He got inside and waited in line. He shifted his camera and laptop bag around a few times while he decided on what to order. His thought automatically went to his usual order when he remembered yesterday. Kageyama had brought him his favorite frappucino, and Hinata remembered deciding whether or not to accept it. He decided to play dumb and ask how Kageyama knew his favorite order. The answer he was given wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either. All things considered, Hinata decided to forgo his usual order in favor of a hot hazelnut latte. His favorite order would never taste the same again, knowing that the sweet taste would only turn bitter on his tongue. 

After he got his coffee, he made his way to the photo shop. It was a specially acreddited one in a way that if you showed your I.D. as a professional magazine or newspaper photographer, they would let you use their special equipment for editing and such, being payed an amount by the company you were working for. Hinata was thankful for this, since he couldn't bring his other equipment from Tokyo. Hinata situated himself in a comfy part of the workshop and opened his laptop. He inserted his camers's memory card and began tweaking and editing the photos he took. Hinata was somehow able to keep his mind focused on the task at hand instead of breaking down over that fact that he was his ex-boyfriend's photographer. But that concentration didn't last very long once he got to editing the profiles he took of Kageyama.

Hinata stared at the screen for a long time, fingers hovering over his trackpad. Then he closed his eyes and let out a defeated sound. _Life is so unfair._ Because even after everything he's put Hinata through, he still looks so damn _good._ It seemed impossible, but he's gotten even taller, his build has evened out. And his eyes. God his eyes are as beautiful as he last saw them. It wasn't fair. Why did Kageyama look like he was completely fine, even better after those three years? Hinata _hated_ it. Hated how Kageyama made it through without a care in the world while he spent so long trying to remember what it was like to walk on his own two feet again. He hated the thought that Kageyama did fine without him, like he never really needed Hinata in the first place. 

His mind went back to the photo that Kageyama showed him of them beating Seijoh on their first year. He remembered that day so vividly. The time they defeated the Grand King on a national stage. He was so happy. _They_ were so happy. He remembered Kageyama slinging his arm around Hinata, a big, bright smile across his face. _We did it, Hinata!_ he said. Kageyama raised his fist and Hinata bumped his against it. Kiyoko-San was the one who took the picture and gave it to them after the Spring Tournament. They might not have won, but they were still victorious. Hinata remembered that day so well. He actually had it framed in his room. To remember the day that he fell in love with Kageyama Tobio.

It was a miracle that he was able to function through the photo shoot after that. He was so nervous that he was sure his stomach would act up again. But it didn't, because Kageyama acted like he wasn't even there. Hinata smiled at that, he'd expect nothing less from Kageyama. He always loved volleyball. Much more than he loved Hinata. That's why he didn't think Kageyama would notice when he took the picture of him wiping the sweat of his brow. Hinata didn't remember why he took it, it was just a spur of the moment thing. But the photo came out as one of the best ones he's ever taken. It was the picture he was staring at right now, actually.

Sweat was dripping from Kageyama's forehead, making its way down to his chin. His eyes were turned toward the other side of the net, satisfaction evident making his eyes shine even more. His lips were pulled upwards, a wisp of a smile playing on them. In the upper left corner, the sunlight shone through, highlighting the shape of Kageyama's nose and lips. The light hit Kageyama's eyes at an angle that made them so blue that Hinata could barely look away. Hinata let put a shaky breath and put his head in his hands. 

Everything was confusing him. _Kageyama_ was confusing him. The things he said were confusing him.   
_Even now, I'll remember him as one of the best volleyball players I've ever met._  
No one ever trusted me that much. I learned to trust him too.  
It's you.  
Kageyama kept saying those things during the interview, as if he valued every single moment they spent together. But when Hinata would ask questions about their past, he wouldn't say _anything._ It was always just _We were just friends_ or _It's nothing that important._ Hinata wondered what he expected Kageyama to say. Did he expect the other man to confess? Did he want Kageyama to tell him that he was wrong to leave Hinata alone? Would he have forgiven Kageyama if he did? He didn't know.

What he did know is that he shouldn't be hurting this much. So why was he? Why was it still so painful to talk to Kageyama, when he told himself that he never wanted anything to do with him anymore? He was supposed to be taking his revenge. So why did it pain him every single time Kageyama got hurt? That's not how it's supposed to be. Isn't he supposed to be laughing, saying _In your face, you fucking asshole_? He's over Kageyama. He _knows_ he is. So why did his soul ache down to the very core when he spiked Kageyama's toss again as if he missed missed _missed_ the feeling so much? 

He doesnt know. He doesn't know. _I don't know._

But he knew that he didn't want to spend anymore time looking a these photos more that he had to. Hinata decided to send the photos to his boss plus the interview and he close his laptop. He promised himself that when he got back to Tokyo after this job, he'd never look at Kageyama's face ever again.

 

Kageyama was really happy that the rain had stopped. It was monsoon season, but it seemed like it wasn't going to be that bad. He had to stop by the grocery store to buy some stuff for dinner. Plus he ran out of his favorite brand of milk, he was meaning to buy some anyway. Being back home wasn't as bad as he thought. Thankfully, he hasn't run into anyone he knew other than Ukai-San and Takeda-Sensei. He wouldn't know what to do if he saw one of his old teammates of classmates from Karasuno. Although to be honest, he's been recognized a few times. Mostly by teenage girls and some sporty guys, some being his kouhais at Karasuno. Pictures were taken which went well, although Kageyama would have rathered not to. 

Kageyama went to the store he always did because no other store actually had the type of milk that he was looking for. His mom was making spicy miso ramen today to fight the cold air breezing through the house all the time. He quickly grabbed all the things his mom told him to, wishing to be done as soon as possible to avoid the rain and being recognized yet again. He made his way to the cashier and payed for his goods. He was about to leave when old woman caught his eye. She looked quite familiar, though Kageyama couldn't quite remember why. She was selling these tiny cream puffs, and that's when he remembered. Back then, there was this old lady who always made the best cream puffs. Kageyama would always buy her milk puffs and she would laugh and pat his head and add an extra cream puff as she told him to be a good boy.

Kageyama smiled at the memory as he made his way to say hello. He looked at the lady and she smiled at him.   
"Ah, hello there! Would you be interested in some cream puffs?", she asked kindly.  
"Yes please. Could I have six of your milk puffs?", he replied. The old lady nodded and started filling a box. Kageyama looked to see what other flavours she had and he spotted few chocolate truffle cream ones. _Hinata loved the chocolate ones back then._ Kageyama frowned at himself. _Hinata again, huh?_ He let out a defeated sigh. He'd been thinking about Hinata lately, and it's been driving him mad. Everywhere he looks, there's always something that connected to Hinata. Because Hinata wanted to do everything together. It seemed like a burden then, but now he's only realizing how much fun he had and didn't have the courage to admit it. Now Hinata has forgotten everything about him and what they used to be and he's flipping inside out on how to get him to remember. Kageyama ran a hand through his hair and let it drop down to his side. 

"Here you go, dear. Would that be all?" The old lady snapped him out of his reverie.   
"Ah, right. That's it- uhm, actually could I have a couple of those chocolate truffle ones too?"  
"Sure thing dear. You know, i remember these two boys from a few years ago who used to come here and order these exact flavours. One was this ball of energy, always bouncing around, that one. His friend was a lot more serious, frowned quite a lot too. I was worried he would end up looking like me in a few years.", she laughed at the memory. Kageyama frowned at that, but he felt no real offense. He was somehow happy that at least someone has fond memories of him. "You know, you remind me of that serious boy somehow."  
Kageyama unfurled his eyebrows, instead raising them in question. "Do I really?"  
"Actually you do. Although you smile a lot more that he did. So it couldn't be you." She looked down to finish fixing the box of sweets. Kageyama watched with wide eyes as she put in an extra of each flavour and tied the box up with the same blue ribbon she always used. She gave to box to Kageyama, taking hold of his hand in her frail ones.  
"Be a good boy, okay?" She smiled at Kageyama, and Kageyama found himself smiling back.  
"I will. Thank you, Obā-San."  
Kageyama walked out of the grocery feeling light. He turned the corner, and he caught sight of a familiar head of hair. _Is that-_

 

"Hinata? Hinata!" The man in question froze as he heard the all too familiar timbre of the voice that called out to him. _Please, not now._ Hinata closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. He wasn't supposed to see Kageyama today. That was the whole point of this break. So that he could have time not looking at Kageyama's face. He really didn't have a choice since he didn't want to be rude, so he put on the most neutral face he could possibly have and turned around he was met with Kageyama, casually dressed, asking towards him with shopping bags in his hands.

"Kageyama-San. How surprising to see you here as well." Hinata purposely put stress in the 'san'. It has been a long time since the name 'Tobio' left his lips. "Done a little shopping I see?"  
"Yeah. I needed some stuff for dinner." Kageyama lifted his plastic bags and Hinata almost smiled when he saw the familiar carton of milk peeking through the plastic. Maybe Kageyama hast changed that much.  
"Ah, I see. Well, I wouldn't want to disrupt your plans for this evening so I'll take my leave now. See you tomorrow, Kageyama-San." Hinata bowed and moved to leave when Kageyama said, "Hold on." Hinata turned back around.

Kageyama made a mistake. He didn't mean to call out for Hinata, he just did. He didn't even know what he was going to say.  
"Yes, Kageyama-San?", Hinata asked again. And Kageyama said the only thing he could.  
"Do you want some cream puffs?" Kageyama internally slapped himself. _Cream puffs? Really? Your going to try and win him back with cream puffs?_ Hinata fixed him with a strange look.   
"Uh, yeah. I just bought them. They're really good. I used to get them all the time. Here." Kageyama offered the box to Hinata.

Hinata lifted an eyebrow. What was Kageyama doing? He was being really random and jittery for some reason. Shouldn't it be him who felt that way. Whatever, a flustered Kageyama was always an amusing thing to watch. Kageyama offered him the box of sweets and wasn't surprised to see the milk puffs that he always got. What he was surprised to see though, were the chocolate ones. They were his favorites. Did Kageyama do this on purpose? It's not like he knew that they would see each other, right? Well, whatever the case, he decided to take one. He popped it it his mouth and chewed. He sighed in delight, Obā-San still had the magic touch, after all these years. Maybe he should pay her a visit?

Kageyama smiled triumphantly. Hinata was obviously enjoying it. He still had a knack for making Hinata smile, even after all these years. "Is it any good?" Of course it was.  
"Yeah. Chocolate cream puffs were always my favorite."  
"Oh, we're they?"   
Hinata inwardly rolled his eyes at Kageyama. He could still be smug as hell. "Well, I'd better go. See you tomorrow Kageyama-San."   
"Uh. Ok. But aren't you going to the bus station?" Kageyama asked.  
"Yeah. Why?"  
"I'm headed there too."

Great. As if it wasn't a crappy enough day for Hinata, he had to go home with Kageyama trailing behind him. Hinata turned around and said, "Well, we better get going then."  
This the two ex-lovers walked towards the bus station, awkward silence filling the space between them. Hinata wished that he brought his bike. But it was raining and he didn't want to risk an accident. He had no choice in this.   
Kageyama was feeling as stuck as Hinata was. Normally it was Hinata that struck up conversations on the way home. Occasionally, he would do it but that was back when they actually knew and liked each other. Now, it's like everything is a big question mark. Kageyama silently prayed in gratitude that the bus station was actually near where they were so the agony wasn't that prolonged.

They were just in time to catch the bus before it left. They squeezed into the middle of the bus which was quite packed beyond its capacity, which meant that Hinata was pressed up against Kageyama's chest with only a thin metal pole to cling on to. Hinata silently cursed to all the gods and deities that decided that this was a funny prank. He was getting way too flustered for his liking and he held on to the metal pole like a lifeline, praying that he doesn't fall into Kageyama's chest. 

Kageyama was no better. Hinata was still a full head shorter than him, which meant that if they were to bump into each other, Hinata would be able to hear the beating of his heart. And God it was beating really fast. You'd think that after 4 years of dating Hinata, Kageyama would be used to having the orange haired man pressed up against him. But the situation made it really awkward and somehow wrong tot take advantage of. Yes, he wanted to win Hinata back, but he didn't want to freak him out.

They stood as far apart as they could (which wasn't much) and held on to the pole, hoping that they wouldn't collide. But it was dark and it was raining and the bus driver didn't see the giant pothole in the road until it was too late. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, and Hinata lost his balance, crashing into Kageyama. Hinata gasped as he was thrown from the left side of the bus to the right, hands outstretched to cover his fall. Which wasn't exactly a good idea because 1.) he landed on Kageyama anyway and 2.) his hands were on Kageyama and dear lord _his abs wERE ROCK HARD._ Hinata couldn't fight the strangled breath that escaped his throat when he felt the muscle tense under his touch.

When Kageyama felt the bus lurch to the side, his first instinct was to catch Hinata. He bus bounced and Hinata lost his footing, sending him crashing into Kageyama. It was fine. Kageyama would catch him. The only problem was Hinata was too damn short and Kageyama's hands were weighed down with grocery bags that his hands never really made it to Hinata's shoulders. No, when Kageyama caught Hinata and helped him steady himself, his hands landed on Hinata's waist. 

So the two men, realizing where their hands landed, stared at each other with wide eyes before frantically letting go of each other, then shifting their eyes to anything except for the one standing beside them. Hinata's hands tightened around his camera bag strap and he felt his face burn. He couldn't get the feeling of Kageyama's abs off of his fingertips.   
"Uhm....thanks, Kageyama-San...", he managed to stutter out.  
"Yeah. No problem." Kageyama replied tersely. His torso still felt warm where Hinata's hands touched and his fingertips tingled at the memory of being in Hinata's waist.   
The bus came to a halt and Kageyama realized that it was his stop. He picked up his bags and turned to Hinata.  
"So, uhm. See you tomorrow then, Hinata."  
"Yeah."

Kageyama got off the bus, and Hinata watched as his tall form melted into the shadows of the night. After a few stops more, he got off and walked to his house. He unlocked the front door and took a step inside. He made his way up to his room, not hearing his mother's voice. He placed his stuff down and crashed onto his bed, pulling a pillow over his head to hide the long shaky breath he let go. He thought of the sound of Kageyama's heart beating against his chest, matching tha speed of his own. Oh, God.

Hinata just _might_ not be able to handle it, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it boring? I don't know I kinda feel like it could have been better but..  
> Is the pacing ok? Is Kageyama kinda OC (I kinda feel like he is I'm making him smile and laugh way too much but that might just be me)? Your feed back is appreciated :))


End file.
